Quotes From King Of The Hill (TV Show)

A quotes list created by Lee Sonogan

Originally published on entertainmentcultureonline.com

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In my humble opinion, this is one of the best long-running animated series out there. Paraphrasing ideas from my review below, it tackles cultures, excellent comedy concepts that surprise you and perfect timing to well-written stories. Going over ten seasons, not every episode knocks it out of the park but resonates with you under many relevant themes. Then the character of Hank Hill is as interesting to most of the other people surrounding his fictional life.

  • Hank Hill: What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he’s white?
  • Dale Gribble: That’s code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature’s going to be in their outdoors. I say let the world warm up, see what Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Ghali thinks about that! We’ll grow oranges in Alaska. Hank Hill: Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. It’s already 110° in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I’m gonna kick your a**!
  • Hank Hill: Bobby, if you weren’t my son I’d hug you.
  • Cotton Hill: In my day, the principal was the meanest sum-bitch God ever put on one leg. He’d lean on a desk with both hands, and swing his leg at ya! Then, when you were standing there shocked that a one-legged man had kicked ya…he’d bite ya
  • Bobby Hill: Hey, I didn’t go looking for trouble. Trouble came-a-knockin’ and Bobby Hill’s foot answered the door.
  • Anthony Page: Mr. Hill, I feel that you’re coming from an anger mindset, and if you’re projecting this anger onto me, it gives me grave concerns as to how you facilitate your son’s growth in private. Hank Hill: Mister, I have not begun to project my anger onto you!
  • Hank: So you found yourself a project. Do you get the same, uh, high I get from lawn care?
  • Cotton Hill: Bobby, I’m proud of what you did at school today….So I’m buyin’ you a hooker! Go ahead pick yourself out a live one.
  • Bill Dauterive: I know how dark it is for you right now; curled up, lying in your own emotional vomit. You’re in hell now, Boomhauer. And the only way out is through a long, dark tunnel. And you’re afraid to go in, because there’s a train comin’ at you, carryin’ a boxcar full of heartbreak. Well, let me tell you something: all you can do is let it hit you. And then try to find your legs. I know, I’ve taken that hit more times than I can remember. Look at me Boomhauer, I’m fat, and I’m old, and every day I’m just gonna wake up fatter and older. Yet somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard into the alley every day. I’m out there diggin’ holes, fallin’ into them, climbin’ out, tryin’ again, and tomorrow, I’m gonna hang outside at a ladies prison. And the first thing those lady cons are gonna see after 20 years? Is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I’m alive you better believe it. You gotta get right back up on that tanning bed, slip into a tight t-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel and into some strange woman’s bed!
  • Bobby Hill: Dad, I’m confused. So you should trust people until they betray you, and then try to blow them up
  • Peggy: Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse. I am very pregnant because of what happened with Lupe. She ate my bus accident and all I wanted was to make Lupe into a book. I have too many good anuses ahead of me to spend my life in a cigar factory
  • Dale Gribble: I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny
  • Hank Hill: Six AM and already the boy ain’t right…
  • Peggy: Enough! Your son has always loved you despite your constant torture. You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That’s fine too. In fact, I hope you do go on living forever as the unhappy person you are in the hell you have created here on this earth. I hope you live forever. I really do
  • Dale Gribble: I’m all jacked up on America right now! Anyone want to hear me recite the Constitution?Hank Hill: For God’s sakes, Bobby, what nationality are you? Bobby Hill: American. Hank Hill: Then why are you holding your cigarette like some kind of European Nazi in a movie? Bobby Hill: Why does it matter? Hank Hill: That’s not the right sort of attitude for you to have. Whatever you do, you should do right, even if it’s something wrong.

Rewatching some clips while putting this together, this is plenty of more not listed here that are more than solid. Hulu is the exclusive location to stream or binge-watch the whole thing! I highly reccomend atleast the first few seasons to judge for yourself…




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